Almost just posted about being hungry and what I had for dinner but I don’t hate you guys as much as I hate myself

iconicbottom:

Pork is my favorite meat and my favorite verb.

Werthers will always hold a special place in my heart. And Reisen. Or Riesen. However the fuck

I may have lost my first tooth in a Reisen

I would watch that probably.

It’s $5.99 on gaydood-heterochiq-jerkoffs.tumblr.com or a free trial for 30 days with a credit card

I’d like to point out that I read a story online about this and immediately people starting defending Terry “I’m a jizz wad” Richardson saying it was faked. Because he definitely does not have this reputation or anything. FOR SURE this woman is making it up. What a WHORE, right?!

I’d like to point out that I read a story online about this and immediately people starting defending Terry “I’m a jizz wad” Richardson saying it was faked. Because he definitely does not have this reputation or anything. FOR SURE this woman is making it up. What a WHORE, right?!

(via neat-whiskey-messy-bed)

Just me and Darren, jerkin’ each other off <3 <3 <3

Just me and Darren, jerkin’ each other off <3 <3 <3

wernerhertzaftig replied to your post “I really like old people candy. You name it, I’ve happily eaten it out…”

Ain’t nobody gonna talk shit about Mary Jane’s to me.

Never let anyone talk shit about old people candy. I’m talkin’ Necco wafers, I’m talkin’ Werther’s originals, I’m talkin’ Pez, you know?!

likeliterallydead replied to your post “I really like old people candy. You name it, I’ve happily eaten it out…”

Let’s talk about Fig Newtons

Yes, also fig newtons. God, Darren. 

likeliterallydead replied to your post “ALSO she has been telling me about something her friend’s boyfriend…”

buy her nothing your presence is a present

See, this is what I’m saying. I’m slowly working towards Kanye-level of self-love (not in a masturbatory way…but, actually masturbation yes ok)

breakfastinbed replied to your post “Ok well now I feel like a little bit of an asshole. But I’m strapped…”

DO NOT FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE

I’m trying not to but I can’t help it. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS. 

Is this model ok? Can we help this model?

Is this model ok? Can we help this model?

I really like old people candy. You name it, I’ve happily eaten it out of someone’s grandparents’ candy bowl

sixfacesofevans But I also think it&#8217;s super weird. It didn&#8217;t seem sweet or grand or anything (the gift card ended up being like $500). I&#8217;d be like, &#8220;you asked my Facebook friends for money for my birthday? What is wrong with you?&#8221;

sixfacesofevans But I also think it’s super weird. It didn’t seem sweet or grand or anything (the gift card ended up being like $500). I’d be like, “you asked my Facebook friends for money for my birthday? What is wrong with you?”

I knowwww. I was gonna make a fucking funfetti cake and call it a day rcknt

I knowwww. I was gonna make a fucking funfetti cake and call it a day rcknt

&#8230;yes

Ughhhh iconicbottom

…yes

Ughhhh iconicbottom

Ok well now I feel like a little bit of an asshole. But I’m strapped for cash, we are in the middle of 8 final exams, and it makes me feel weird that she’s asking me for specific stuff. Like, will I be letting her down if I don’t celebrate accordingly? But also, is this my responsibility? I don’t know.

ALSO she has been telling me about something her friend’s boyfriend did for her birthday where he opened a donation page and collected money to buy her a Nordstrom gift card ? And she keeps telling me about the website and how easy it is to do and “what a cool birthday present” and how that would be “so awesome” if someone did that for her

I’ve known you for like 8 months and I’m not your boyfriend, so no, I’m not going to go begging to your Facebook friends for money for you

Kristen/24/Perpetual student. Hurry up with my damn croissants.

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